A Hard Diagnosis
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Neuropsychologists, IEP meetings, and therapy...lots of therapy -- this was not what I expected my journey of motherhood to involve.
My first born son, Micah, has always been an active child, but around the age of 2 1/2 I realized I couldn't communicate with him as well as other kids his age. I was working part-time at this point, and I remember feeling like the teachers didn't know how to handle him, and honestly, neither did I.
I would watch my friends discipline their kids, and naturally, those kids would cry; but mine would just laugh in my face and move on, not seeming to understand the concept of discipline.
So on the day that we got his diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder and Auditory Processing Disorder, I felt relief on the one hand, and an overwhelming sense of sadness on the other. I now had a reason as to why his teachers and I couldn't get through to him (and it wasn't because of my "bad parenting"), but I also wondered how this would affect his future: Would he understand concepts enough to be able to graduate? Would he be able to be on his own one day? Would I ever be able to effectively communicate with him?
Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I knew this was true, but at the time I really struggled with this verse: How was this diagnosis not harmful, and how was he prospering from it? I constantly asked the Lord to give me hope for Micah's future.
The day we got the diagnosis I quit my job and decided to fully study my son and get him the help he needed and deserved. Because of this, I was able to figure out the resources he needed that would help him thrive. I now have a passion for helping others who are going through this same journey.
And today, four years later, I am happy to say that Micah has graduated out of Special Ed! He is now on an as-needed therapy schedule and is thriving in a mainstream classroom. It has taken a lot of hard work and sacrifice from everybody in our family, but through it all, God has shown me that Jeremiah 29:11 is so very true.
God changed my Type A personality and the need to control everything to a level of "thriving in the chaos". I now trust HIM with the control, which is something I never thought I would do. My personality has literally changed because of Micah's diagnosis, and the freedom that has come from this is incredible.
So for all of you mamas who are dealing with a hard diagnosis too, know that your struggles are seen by God and that you are not alone. Yes, this road may be hard, but God does have plans to prosper both you and your child.
Kristin is a mom of three and has been married to her husband for 11 years. She loves to find the humor in life and gets a thrill from finding a good deal. She loves to help other moms who are parenting children like Micah, so feel free to contact her at email@example.com.